This I Believe...

I believe in having an open mind and forgiveness. A closed mind can lead a person to think negatively about something before giving it the time of day. It can lead a family to not speak to one another due to a misconception. A misconception that was not even once thought to be something worth understanding. The idea that people have about certain places and the comparisons they make between people, I have dealt with. 

My family does not consist of having both a mother and a father. I have two moms and the battles they go through are something I go through with them. There is an idea that they are not capable of raising me because they are both female, which is both ridiculous and rude. I believe a family is not having both a mom and a dad. A family is having someone or multiple people, no matter if they are blood or not blood, care for you when times are tough. I came to this idea when I was very young. My “dad” has not been around since I was born. He was not there in the room when I came into this world and he has not stuck around to see the person I have become today. I use to think it was my fault that he hadn't, I would visit his job when I was 5 years old and thought they meant the world. I had this idea that he wanted to see me and get to know me, but then I learned I was wrong. The true people who care for you are the ones who go to see you at times, not the ones who always want you to come to them. They do not lie and they love your perfections and flaws.  

The power of an open mind and forgiveness can cause greatness. And it may sound cliche, but it can change a person, but so can other things. As I said before I have a biological mom named Felicia and I have a stepmom named Maria, but I call her Cuca. But that is another story for another time as to why we call her that. Now you would think, “Oh Amelia has two moms,” but you're wrong because most people only say I have one mom. My family is some of those people who say that. There was a disagreement at a family event that showed their true colors. It was a nice, sunny Sunday and my grandma decided to host sort of a family dinner. My grandma invited my aunts and cousins. The day was going good and we stood for a while before getting ready to leave. I was waiting for my parents while they talked and I felt someone kicking the back of my leg as if they were trying to trip me. I turned around and it was my “aunt,” Lucy. And before I continue, I would like to mention that I was raised to respect people who are older than me, but I was also taught to defend myself. Now in this situation I was conflicted because I couldn't kick her back because at the end of the day, she was still my aunt. So I didn't react with violence, but instead I used my words to tell her and I quote, “If I accidentally kick you back then it is not my fault.” That sentence is what fueled the fire. It was like she was waiting for me to speak up for myself.  

A sentence that caused someone to be cruel and ignorant. At first I thought that she would stop after I spoke up because she is way older than me and her daughter is younger than me, so I thought she would know to stop. Instead, she told me, “You’re not going  to hit me because I’m your aunt and I’ll hit you.” This got me mad because in this situation I’m the child and she was the adult, but she basically said I couldn't defend myself because she will hit me. My Mom, Maria, overheard what my aunt said she didn't like it, so she stood up for me. She took the position any parents would have and simply said, “You aren't gonna hit my daughter.” Now I remind you that she has helped raise me since the age of 5, so she has the right to be my mom and carry an equal amount of responsibility as my other mom. But I guess it is not seen that way to others. My aunt decided to say, “She’s not your daughter so be quiet.” That was when all chaos broke loose.  

That day was the day that I declared that my “aunt,” Lucy, was not my family. People can say that we are family because we are blood but blood doesn't mean anything. She is older than both my parents and I, but still does not understand the value of change and respect. I forgive the words she had spoken that day, but I will not forget them. I will be civil to her, but I will never call or see her as my “aunt” ever again. I have learned the real meaning of family and who my family truly is. I understand that it is harder for some than others to have an open mind towards change and the differences between people. I am aware that many will not agree on something from time to time, but I am also aware that people can take the time to listen and understand. They have the power of keeping their opinion to themselves and know when to be respectful.

In life there will be people who will say things and it will hurt you a little bit. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” I never truly believed. The words people speak do hurt, but how you let them affect you depends on you. It is hard to forgive and hard to take some things into consideration, but it is how conflicts are resolved. In a conflict, you can take the words someone has said and let them change you to not act the way that they do, but instead show them that they have zero affect on you. Your actions and your words define who you are. Who do you want to be?